Author: Christine

yup….   it wasnt there when we left on November 26th to go south….

but it was there when we got back on December 4th…..

another “effing” lump..   under the incision from the first M*A*S*H operation on October 25th…..

back to the vet this morning….   checked it out and yup… it’s growing back…   grrrrrrr

so.. back to the vet tomorrow morning at 8am to drop my goofy guy off to have a larger area removed…

and.. this time.. the vet is sending it for analysis so that we know what we are dealing with…

cross your fingers and paws, and anything else that gravity will allow you to do…

we appreciate all good vibes, voodoo dances and naked midnight rituals around the firepit in the backyard!!

*sigh*

(you’ll notice he is still not trained on how to use the dog bed properly…. lol)

bark  atcha later

2 years have flown by…. 2 years ago yesterday was Franklin’s amputation…. which means I have been part of this community in Tripawd land for a little over that…

I go back to the very first post that I wrote… November 22nd…..  and I chuckle….   I was so uneducated… I knew nothing… I sit and shake my head at myself.. why did I wait two months ffs!!!!!????   I was stupid.  *sigh*

I read that thread that Michelle posted about this morning…  which linked the facebook post  “On Losing a Dog”…   and that one line has stuck with me…

A dog can’t change the world, but they can change your world!

OMG.. how true is that…. it just hits home….  you could see everybody’s lightbulbs going on above their head.. BINGO!!!!   That’s it!!!

just like the saying.. two legs move your body, four legs move your soul.….   BINGO!!!!

I can close my eyes, open my heart and remember buddy…..  I remember

how I worried about you…

how I missed you because I was out of town and my sweetie had to go get you….

how I smiled when I heard you were doing okay and glad to be home…

Oh how I miss you….

I loved the way you changed my world sweet boy….

xo

When we were younger, time seemed to move sooooo slooooowly.  It took forever waiting for Christmas to get here…. remember that?   Yet.. Summer vacation seemed to fly right by!!!

on the 15 of November.. it was 18 months since I last petted my sweet boys head… kissed his brow.. and told him how much I loved him…

EIGHTEEN MONTHS!!!

and I can still cry at the drop of a hat, or when I type a post like this…..

Miss you buddy… love you always…  ♥♥♥

Sebaceous cyst….   

come on… say it with me now…….

sebaceousssssssssssssssssssssssssss cyst!!!!

Apparently.. that is what Wilson has…   it is “above” the skin… and not below the skin like the masticized tumour he had was…   Dr. Hill said that if it was the same type of growth, it would be under the skin.  To keep an eye on it for a week or two and see if it changes.,..

But because it was 3/4″ away from the incision of his M*A*S*H operation, yes.. it freaked me out…   My one side of me was saying.. “NO.. get rid of it.. he can’t have any more bumps like that because what it it will spread to his liver.. his spleen?  Take it off NOW!!!!”  And the other part of me said… “Chick….  calm down… not all lumps and bumps are cancerous, and some are fairly innocent and do not warrant immediate surgery!!”   So.. he basically drew me a drawing of lumps and bumps.. lol

I have to remind myself that not every lump or bump on your dog will be a tumor.

I found this info….  Some superficial bumps are due simply to plugged oil glands in the skin, called sebaceous cysts. Skin cysts can be composed of dead cells or even sweat or clear fluid; these often rupture on their own, heal, and are never seen again. Others become chronically irritated or infected, and should be removed and then checked by a pathologist just to be sure of what they are. Some breeds, especially the Cocker Spaniel, are prone to developing sebaceous cysts. 

 And yes, the sebaceous glands in the skin do occasionally develop into tumors called sebaceous adenomas.  According to Richard Dubielzig, DVM, of the University of Wisconsin, School of Veterinary Medicine, “Probably the most commonly biopsied lump from dog skin is a sebaceous adenoma. This does not mean it is the most commonly occurring growth, just that it is most commonly biopsied.” Fortunately this type of skin growth rarely presents trouble after being surgically removed. 

 So how are you to know which lumps and bumps are dangerous and which can be left alone? Truthfully, you are really only guessing without getting the pathologist involved. Most veterinarians take a conservative approach to the common lipomas and remove them if they are growing rapidly or are located in a sensitive area.  

Did I over-react?  I don’t think so… we all know once we deal with this stupid cancer shit… we tend to possible be more on guard with our future four legged kids..   AND… since he has already had a mass removed.. I guess I am going to be more on guard with him in the future.  What doesn it hurt?  Free vet visits for checkups of lumps and bumps..  an hour or two off work to run for an appointment ocassionally…   no problems.. I can handle that.

Thank you all for your calm words, keep my sanity, and over the cyberspace hugs and prayers… they really do work!!

I know.. I will worry about something when there is something to worry about….. but.. that doens’t mean I can’t FREAK OUT in the meantime… !!!!

bark atcha later!

Yup… here we go…

off to the vets today at 4pm to get this one checked out.  It’s about 3/4″ away from the incision where Wilson had thelast lump removed.  It’s about the sizae of a grain of rice…   but it’s still a bump that was NOT there before…  $&*#(#(#$*  !!!!!    But I am more prepared this time.

I want it analayzed… I want to know more.. I want to worry less…

How can this sweet face be put through all this????

gah!

Bark atcha later……………..

It’s been almost 18 months on the 15th  since I lost my sweet boy.. I miss him every day… and sometimes the waves of emotion come up occasionally and my cheeks get wet… but more times there are smiles.. and we now laugh when we talk about scenarios, incidents, memories and just shake our heads at the memories we have of that fun loving pup…

I have to share a squeakie toy story with you…. And hopefully you will laugh out loud like we do when we talk about it…

Franklin was a “squeak-a-holic”  He failed the 12 step program.. trust me.. I know…     He LOOOOOOOOOVED his squeaky toys…  squeaky hamburger…  squeaky turkey girl… squeaky pork chop…. squeaky  chicken legs… and his all time favorite.. squeaky sausage!    I’m sensing a food theme here.. lol

Well, my sweetie had friended this guy who is a race car driver… yes.. my guy loves Nascar.  So.. Kirk, (the driver) befriends my sweetie and offers him to work in the pit crew.  Well.. instant smile on my guys face.. and over a year or so, my sweetie Fred would go out to Kirk’s and hang out and talk  cars, races, etc.    You can eat off of Kirk’s garage floor… that’s what type of driver Kirk is.  He’s rich… and sometimes shows it.. and when he does.. I really don’t like him.. he’s an ass.  But…  onto the story…..

So.. Kirk is married and has two young boys… one is 3 and the other one is 5 at the time of the story…  We are looking at the summer of 2008 here.. we had finished our addition and we were now building our deck and pergola.  Franklin was 9 and Maggie was 7.  Both in great health.. and having great days being a dog!

On one partifular nice Saturday,  we are in the backyard.. and we have ressure treated wood everywhere and, not to mention, power tools.  And who shows up?  Kirk and his family.  So we are talking in the backyard.. and he starts telling us how he would level this, and level that, and build a rock partio over there.. and extend out the ridge so that you had more backyard room, etc.. and he knows people who work for the city and he could have it done in a snap of a finger.. and he would rip out my lily gardens.. (WHOA!!!! WTF buddy.. you just said rip out my lilies?  The ones that have taken me years to grow and mature??  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Needless to say.. I was not impressed with his attitude and I could see my Fred looking at me with the look of dread in his eyes.. lol.

The dogs are loose in the backyard.. and there are squeaky toys everywhere!!   And.. there is a 3 year old….

So.. Kirk’s wife goes in the house to use the bathroom.. and  I am in the kitchen…so is Franklin.  Kirk and Fred are outside in the back yard.. as well as the two boys…  and the little one… finds Mr Squeaky Sausage…   I could hear it… eeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk   eeeeeeekkk….    And so could Franklin.. who stood looking out the patio door.. saying…. Wtf?   You can’t play without me?  Wait for me!!!!!

Here’s what happens next..

Kirk’s wife opens door to go outside…

Franklin runs outside.. he wants to play squeakie.. ..   come on….  throw the squeakie, throw the squeakie!!

Kirk’s son sees Franklin running for him….  And screams…   AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Kirk’s son runs the other way.. still squeaking the squeaky….    eeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk   eeeeeeekkk    AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Franklin runs after him….  Come on…. throw the squeakie, throw the squeakie!!

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

eeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk   eeeeeeekkk     AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Come on…..   throw the squeakie, throw the squeakie!!

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

eeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk   eeeeeeekkk     AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Come on… throw the squeakie, throw the squeakie!!

I proceed to run outside to get Franklin.. and step right on the orange blossom stalks that I  had just cut down to ground level  (because that is where the new deck is going) and puncture my foot, yes.. I was barefoot!!

So here I am sitting on the ground, holding my bleeding foot.. calling Franklin and laughing my ass off at the scenario in my backyard.

Kirks grabs his son.. who drops the squeaky… and Franklin picks up his squeaky and stands there with his tail and bum waggin….

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

To this day..  we say… remember when….    AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!     eeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk    eeeeeekkkk   eeeeeeekkk     Come on…..   throw the squeakie, throw the squeakie

Of course you have to do it in 3 different voices…

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I still have that squeaky sausage….    It’s beside Franklin every day!!

Bark atcha later!

I just sit and cry……

sometimes…  I go over things in my head… and the tears well up and I just can’t stop them…

sometimes…  I think I am over reacting… too much of a softie.. reprimand myself and say this is all part of life.. now get on with it…

sometimes…  I just wish it was all over so that I didn’t have to watch her struggle to get up… and hop to me with that tail wagging and her happy look on her face…

sometimes…  I wish that I didn’t have to be the strong one….

sometimes…  I wish I was stronger….

sometimes… I wish I would wake up in the morning and find her gone beside us…

sometimes… I put her leash on, as she sits by the door,  and we go outside on the side lawn for a 20 foot walk and she comes back inside after she pees

sometimes…  I come home from work and she rolls on her back and has a “Maggie Moment”, stretching, twisting and making arrr arrrr arrr sounds..

sometimes… I need to grab my phone and video tape that.

sometimes….  more than once I think that this may be the week.. and that girlie girl seems to get stronger….

sometimes… I feel guilty because I never thought she would make it this far….

sometimes… I feel guilty because part of me hopes she passes before we leave for Cuba on Nov 26.  I worry that she won’t get the care while we are gone.

sometimes… I get a horrible feeling in my stomach if she makes it to when we leave, that she will pass without us here!!

sometimes… I wish we weren’t going to Cuba!

sometimes… we play ball on the floor and I roll it to her and she rolls it back with her nose.  Just like old times………

sometimes… I just sit and smile at her……

I can’t believe that it has been over a month since I posted anything in Franklin’s Blog.   Time really doe fly by quickly when you don’t pay attention.  The summer was good here in Brantford, Ontario, Canada eh?  We were busy doing things around the house, we had to rebuild part of our deck and made a permanent shade shelter.  Hopefully we will get more use out of it next year as this summer was certainly not a warm one for sitting outside alot..

Wilson has grown into a good looking young man.  He is almost a year and a half!! And he still has not figured out the bed thang… geesh!!

I just don’t get it… and obviously.. neither does he!!!   lol

Anyhow.. life does go on…   It really does… and eventually ours too will end…  and like I said before.. I will be trampled at the Bridge, I will be wet and slimy from sloppy kisses, my face will hurt from grinning ear to ear and I cup those sweet faces in my hands and stare into their eyes and say hello again… kiss their brows and thank them for making me who I am today…..

I could say that I can’t wait to see them all again.. but I can.  Because I really don’t plan on “checking out soon” if you know what I mean.  I have too many years left in my life to love and learn from more dogs.  I do plan to have another cat eventually, but not right now.  Diesel and Felix kind of ruined it for any other feline in our house.  As Diesel got older, towards the end, he would do his business in the crawl space and sometimes in our pantry.  Although I caught it, cleaned it… I still think the scent is there in the cement of the floor.  When we adopted Felix,  he was good for a while.. but towards the end, he started peeing in the crawl space, on top of the totes, on the cement floor, and no matter how many times I would reprimand him, he still continued to do it.   He was doing it out of spite because my daughter Jordan was spending alot of time away.. and he missed little kids.   Although I cannot smell anything when I go down there.. I know that another furry little kid can!!

Maggie is not doing well.  She had a fall on last Monday night.. it was all my fault.  I had this “pool float thingy” that was ripped and it was garbage and I put it on the grass behind me.. I went to the alcove to see if there was anything else I could take out to the garbage and her ball was outside it.  She saw her ball and tried to get it and tripped over that stupid pool thing!!  If I haven’t of put it there she would have never tripped!!!   She was yelping and screaming in pain.. and it was the side where she has that damn gap in the bone.  Damn you Osteo arthritis!!   Anyhow.. when I reached for her she tried to bite me…  she was hurting.. and I was crying…   Needless to say.. I got her calmed down.. and carried her inside.  Ice packs, heat packs and rest….  My Fred was up north hunting, and no way of contacting him.

The following morning, she was not using that leg at all.. but did not yelp, or pull back when I poked and prodded.  Part of me said that there is no way this is broken because she would tell me if it was.  I iced more, heat packed more, and we shall wait and see how things go with rest.  We went back to the vets on Thursday and had xrays done.. no breaks, no fractures, but the osteo arthritis has gotten quite bigger.. and the x-rays show the difference.  As well, her heart murmer has gotten quite bad.

So, the vet gave me tramadol for her.  I gave her 1/2 a pill to try her as she has never had it before… and she was comotose!  I didn’t like it.. so I will just keep her on Rymadil.  I kept thinking if she struggled to get up while on that Tramadol, she could hurt herself again.  I called the vet and told her and she agreed to not use it.    It has been a week now since she fell.  Part of me wishes that she would just pass in her sleep, preferably curled up between us with Wilson if you know what I mean.  I would upload the video of her trying to walk on Tuesday outside.. but it is heartbreaking.  I took it to show my Fred just in case something happened and I had to make a decision with him gone.  So instead.. I share a happy picture… with of course her favourite thing in the world.. orange hockey balls!

We keep our eyes open for puppies from litters where we got Wilson from.  I think that is the way we will go instead of getting an older dog.  But then again, you never know what will happen in the future..

Wilson keeps us smiling and we are amazed at how gentle and smart this dog is.  He has turned into such a cuddler and snugglebug… He sleeps with us every night.. and I am really not sure if that is a good thing.. but meh.. I’m ok with it….   except when you wake up to his arse in your face… gah!!!  But then again.. it’s usually Fred’s face that his butt faces.. not mine.  So.. meh… I’m ok with it.

I am dreading the day that Maggie meets Franklin and Diesel…  she is the last of the three amigos.. the three stooges…  she’s my girlie girl. And, as pawrents, we will all have those days.. and we accept them.. because we have “Chosen Tears”.  I have been in contact with a vet to come to our home when we are ready….  it could be Thursday this week.. it might be Tuesday next week.. we are not too sure.. but it will happen eventually.

I miss you sweet boy…. always will… and I know you will be seeing Maggie soon.  She will be so happy to see you!!!  When she arrives.. take care of her okay?

It is going to be so hard having both of you waggin in my heart.

bark atcha later

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I miss you……..

Yup.. that is what my Maggie has…………….  

Maggie is not a Tripawd.. but you all know Maggie.   She was the Ying to Franklin’s Yang.  When our sweet Frank’n’farter ran for the bridge last year on May 15….. Maggie was alone.. and she cried… so, along came Wilson.  Maggie is Wilson’s big sister, mother figure, Nanny, teacher and all around best bud.   Maggie is one of the sweetest dogs I have ever had the pleasure of wanting to be with me. 

When she was younger, she was fast… man oh man, she was fast…   Faster than Wilson!  She was agile, she was quick, and she could jump from the floor up into your arms!!  You could take Maggie in your arms and basically turn her upside down and she would not struggle.  She was, and still is, so trusting and passive… she’s my Maggie Girl! I remember when I brought her home, I bought her from a family in Brantford.  She had the mother, a liver and white Springer that she had bred with her friends Springer who was black and white.  There were two pups left.. one black and white and one liver and white.  The liver pup was running around like a goof ball….  and the black one was just calm and toddling along.  I picked up the black one and she just leaned into my arms.  Yup.. she was the one.  She was 10 weeks old.

She stayed in the kitchen the first night for approximately 3 hours till her howling and whining made me snap.  Ok, I said to her.. you can come into the bedroom and sleep beside the bed.  Well.. after 20 minutes of her whining beside the bed, I scooped her up… placed her beside me on the bed.. she snuggled into my shoulder and immediately went to sleep.  No messes on the bed… or the floor… and up in the morning and outside to do business.  That was it.. she was a snuggler… and she has lived up to her name…

My Maggie has been limping for a while.. and I know that her joints are not as smooth as they used to be.  You can see the swelling in her elbows, etc.  After all.. she is 12 ½…  She is on Tri-Acta as well as Rymadil for her joint pain.  We know they day is coming… I have said that many times before and posted a few things about it.   But now it is confirmed….and the x-rays showed it.

Maggie has been limping and favoring her left shoulder for the past week.  We have done the restricted ball throwing, and small walks and rest to help it get better.  Well.. it hasn’t really gotten better so we went to the vet yesterday for some x-rays. When we picked her up, the vet showed us the pictures and  it’s actually not her shoulder.. it’s her elbow.  She has osteoarthritis… degenerating bone disease…..DGD…  *sigh*  

I just about cracked up when the vet said Osteo…. Because I immediately thought.. here we go again.. osteosarcoma, here we come.  And how ironic is that .. left leg.. Franklin was left leg.. de-ja-vu!!! But.. he cannot confirm if it is a tumor at this time.. the x-rays show the bones and cartilage that is very weak, and she actually shows a space above her elbow that shouldn’t be there.. it should be solid bone..   So, he said that if it started to get bigger, then there could be a tumor in there, but if it doesn’t, there is the possibility that one day she will break her leg from the weakness of the bone…

Options?  Amputation? She could not do it.  Her other three legs are not strong.  As well, with DBD, it doesn’t hit just one joint.. she obviously has it in her other three as well .   Elbow replacement?  That would be the same outcome as an amputation, her other joints are not strong.  Last option?  Enjoy day by day and when the day comes,  I’ll let go of the leash one last time.

So.. if there is one thing I have learned from this group… and Franklin.. is to be more dog!!    Maggie doesn’t know what is happening.. all she knows is that “man, my shoulder is a bit stiff at this time… maybe I will just walk instead of running back with my ball” 

I hate finding out… I hate confirming what you already know in the back of your mind.  Because once you know.. 100% for sure….  then your whole world changes.  Even for Maggie.. it seems that since we have brought her back from the vets, her sparkle in her eyes is gone. And she just looks at you as if to say.. “ok, now you know”  I think it just might be the effects of lettering the anesthetic  wearing off that’s making her look a bit off too.. it takes a day or so for them to get it out of their system… Jordan did say her tail was waggin more today than yesterday…. 

All I can say is…  here we go again…..   and I wouldn’t change it for the world…  Wilson will be lost…..  She’s his buddy…. his pal… his teacher….  she’s my Maggie Girlie.. My Maggie Mae Penny Licorice… My Girlie Girl…  My Beautiful Girlie…..  My Ball-a-Holic…  My Baby Girl….   

Fuck…..  :O(

Christine.. with Franklin in her heart♥