today….. I can’t believe it has been 3 months
a quarter of a year,
13 weeks,
92 days,
2, 208 hours,
132,480 minutes,
7, 948,800 seconds
since I lost my baby boy.
It still hurts.. it hurts like f*ck. I miss him soooo much.. I know that Mr. Wilson brings so much joy and playful moments, proud moments, loving moments, and I am blessed to have him to love and him to love me back.
But I miss my Franklin.
His smell is not as strong on his dog bed anymore.. he’s fading away slowly, only from the bed of course, not my heart, never, ever from my heart. Never.
His sweaters are still in my closet.. and know what? I’m going to un-stitch that left hole and Maggie and Wilson will wear them this winter for our walks.. I hope they look as handsome and beautiful with them on as Franklin did.
His harness is still hanging in the back room. Wilson will grow into it.. and I will be proud to put it on him for the first time when he is a big boy.
His dog bowl is back in the kitchen again, right beside Maggies on the raised bench my Sweetie built for Franklin. Mr. Wilson likes to be a big boy and eat beside Maggie.
We took away the ramp from the bedroom. It was time. I wish I could hear him hop down it one more time..
I wish I could dream of him. I wish I could dream, and hold him, and pet his head, neck, and kiss him on the brow. I so badly need to dream of him. I wish I could tell him I loved him one more time, kiss his nose, and hold him tight.. and never ever let go.
I wish I could smell his farts.
I wish…….
