Today.. I’m going to lose my best friend…. I just made the call.. the call that I never wanted to make… but I wanted to make sure that Dr. Plater, his vet, was going to be there for him… I’m going to take his blanket… and his squeaky.. they have to go with him.. they have to.
My sweet pup Franklin did not have a good day yesterday.. or last night… he has gotten to the point where he goes 5-6 hops and then he is wheezing bad…. Nothing stops the wheezing.. I wish I could stop the wheezing… It hurts to see him wheezing so much… gawd, you know.. I think I have cried more over this sweet soldier of mine than I have my own parents!!
Last night I had to finish making some soap in the kitchen and he would not leave my side.. he had to lie beside me.. so I brought one of the dog beds in and his blanket and he lay there… while I finished up.. If I left the kitchen.. he would follow me… I went into the tv room for a bit.. and he snuggled on the couch.. and then when I got up.. he did too…. He clung to me .. he’s a mama’s boy… he’s my handsome boy….
My sweetie Fred was just beside himself… he wishes he could go another day… he says.. let’s see how he is in the morning… I just smiled and hugged him cause I know he is hoping for just one more day… one more pet on the head.. one more tail wag in the morning for a treat.
We hugged and he said.. “this is it.. isn’t it?” Yup.. it is.. There were many tears last night… many kleenex’s used…
Last night I took the mattress down off the bed… and we all slept on the floor. I gave him an extra pain pill and an extra bit of cough syrup for his throat. We had a few moments through the night.. and then he settled down a bit more.. Maggie was weird though. Kinda made me think how pack animals act when they know there is a weak one. Franklin was lying on the mattress.. and she came and laid down.. right on top of his head!! And he didn’t move!! I thought.. WTF?? So I moved her.. and she got piffed at me and got down off the mattress and slept beside it… No way was she coming back up… lol
So, I took the day off today… I called into my work and told them I would not be in.. My sweetie said.. “look.. his tail is wagging, he’s ok. Let’s wait one more day… ” If I had one more day with him… that would be just for our own selfishness… and I would regret it. Seeing him wheezing and struggling just so that we had one more day. Nope.
My hubby went into work for the morning and he will be home at lunch time.. We are going to take Franklin for some ice cream… Maggie too. and then we are going to drive down to the vets with all the windows open so that sweet boy of mine can stick his head out the window and lets those ears fly!!
The ride home will be heartbreaking…
F*U*C*K this hurts… yes.. I know.. I swore.. I’m sorry.. but I just had to type it once. Actually, I typed it more than that but I used the backspace button a few times…. It hurts to see cancer win… in anyone two legged and four, or three. It hurts to see his tail wag a bit less… it hurts to see him lying on his bed looking at me with dull eyes… it hurts knowing how empty the house will be when we get home..
I will miss him terribly… Actually.. I’ve been missing him for a few days now… he just has not been himself.. I believe he is telling me he is tired…
Like I said before, please send a message to all those beautiful tripawds and four leggers at the bridge that Franklin is coming.. they will know him when they see him. He’s the happy one with the tail wagging and the grin on his face… he hasn’t met a dog or cat he hasn’t liked.. so tell them not to be scared… he is just a big goofball. And if there is a squirrel chase going on.. he’ll be right in the thick of it… I know he’ll be snuggling with his sleeping buddy Diesel tonight… so all will be well…
of course, I can’t leave without some pictures……
bark atcha later…..
Christine, you are an incredibly strong doggie Momma who knows your boy better than anyone else. You made the hard call, you did right by him by not allowing him to suffer.
Oh I know how hard this is, how we all want one more week, or one more day, to spend precious time together. The phone call you had to make, this day you have to go through, I know how this is torture for your pack. In the end, the memories of Franklin’s life with outweigh all of the pain that you are going through now.
My heart goes out to you, I am so very sorry. Yes, all of the Tripawd heroes will be waiting for him, we will welcome him with open paws.
xoxo
My heart goes out to you all today. Big hugs.
I’m so sorry Christine. As I stated in my forum post, please try to take comfort in knowing that Diesel is waiting for him, if that is any comfort at all. My heart is breaking for you. You fought such a great battle for your Franklin. I will be thinking of you all day.
Lots of love,
Erica
Christine, cancer won’t win this one. Franklin will. He’s got cancer, sure, but he’s had a tremendously happy life with the best care and more love than many dogs get. You already know the right thing to do is what he needs and not what you want. So, he wins. He got the brass ring, the winning lottery ticket, the door prize, the big kahuna.
I do know how hard it is to plan and prepare for something like this. Nothing can make it better. Indeed your house will be too quiet, too clean. Try to keep your heart full of the years of Franklin. So many happy things to remember, when you’re ready.
Shari
Christine, Fred, Maggie and Frank n’ Farter
I’vee tried to start this a couple of times…and…right now cannot……crying keeps interrupting the thoughts I’m trying to convey….so please forgive my weakness right now and I want to write more later……………….soooooo sorry
Your strength to do what’s best for Frank defines a higher level of dedication and devotion
I’m crying for you. I’m so sad and so angry for the emptiness he’ll leave behind. Some say it’ll refill. Others say it never does. You are doing the right thing…cancer does the wrong thing. I hate it, too. It’s wrong. I hope you find comfort in your actions today and can focus on that rather than his emptiness. But if you can’t, I understand. We all do. I’m sending lots of LOVE and HUGS to you and your pack today. I’ll make sure to hug Jackson extra hard tonight, too. HUGS
~ Katy
Christine,
I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I am crying as I read this. Cancer didn’t win. You both fought a valent fight. Your dear Franklin knows you love him and you gave him the greatest gift today. Even though it sucks and is so hard. He will see you again one day (I know that doesn’t help the pain you are feeling now or in the future feeling his loss). Cancer is evil and has no rules. It doesn’t play fair at all.
Run Free and enjoy your time at the Bridge Franklin until you meet your loving family again.
Hugs
Michelle & Sassy
I am so sorry. My heart dropped when I read the title.
You are giving Franklin the hardest gift to give but the most loving gift of all.
Franklin got to have a wonderful life with you, he got to know what it is to be loved. Cancer didn’t win. Your love will endure.
Many hugs
Karen and Spirit Magnum
Christine,
I tried to read your post today at work and couldn’t so now at home I read it and cried and cried, having gone through this not very long ago. And also with a husband having a hard time with the “when ” question. My Maggie LOVED squirrels and I feel like her and Franklin are at full speed ahead chasing those squirrels and CATCHING them. Love to you and your family
Penny, Spirit Maggie and Blink
Christine – How strong and brave you were for Franklin and he is beside you now as Mama’s boys never leave you. Remember the wonderful memories – especially the ones that make you smile. My heart breaks for you. Sending you all the comfort possible.
I cried this morning when I read this. I’m so sorry. Cancer does suck but love never dies. *hugs*
Christine and family,
I am so heartbroken to hear of your loss. I know too well how you feel. Even though we all know that the day will come, nothing makes the actual departure day any easier. I hope and
Pray that the void he leaves behind will gently be eased away by the loving thoughts and years of memories you both shared. Nothing I say can make the pain go away. But remember that it is not a
Permanent goodbye, rather an “until we meet again”. Franklin will always be with you, and you with him. I’m sure Bruno welcomed him one the other side where they are now the best of friends. We are with you. Hugs.
Maricela and spirit Bruno