Day by Day…..

Franklin has “the cough” as you are all aware of.  The doctor recommended putting him on Benalyn DM for Cough and that is what I have done.  An adult dosage, he gets it mixed with ham twice a day…   it helps him for a bit..  and he runs in circles when he knows that the ham is coming.. lol

Mornings are the worst… the poor gaffer wakes up and takes a while to get him self oriented to go outside to pee.. and the tail wags.. except when he is wheezing and coughing..  I let him back in after his morning pee and snuggle with him on the bed for 10 minutes before it’s my time to shower…  I talk to him.. tell him what’s going on.. tell him to let me know when…   he just looks at me with those sad brown eyes..   I noticed that the spark is no longer there…   and I cry.  Every morning I cry.

I’m hoping yet  will be surprised if he is still here for the long weekend.  I know he won’t be here to celebrate my 50th Birthday in July.

I am so f&*(king mad…  I’m angry that he is getting ripped off…   I get upset and cry when I read everyone else’s story on their blogs about them saying goodbye to their puppers.. and now it is my turn to write the story.  I don’t want to write that story.  I just don’t want to!

Yet, I try to be cheerful around him cause we ‘re blessed to have him for another day beside me on the couch,  blessed to have him outside lying on the deck with me in the evening air.. blessed to rub his ears and kiss his head one more time… .

We went for a little walk last night.. he didn’t make it far..  but he got out of the backyard and enjoyed walking down the side road.  When he turned around on his own, (which is not the norm!!) we came back home.

We got more pig ears last night… My sweetie took him to the store with him..  he was quite excited to go for a car ride.

Here’s a pic to share.. one of my all time favorites… of my sweetie and our handsome dog…   A picture is definitely worth a 1,000,000 words!  This was about 5 years ago… around this time when we were finishing our deck…

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Author: Christine

I'm Canadian eh? living in Southwestern Ontario. My crew consists of my sweetie Fred, my son (25yrs) and my daughter (22yrs) as well as our 4 legged kids, Maggie (12yrs) and Wilson (1year). Franklin was my sweet boy who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in September 2012. His leg was amputated on December 4, 2012. He was the cutest tripawd on this planet. He was happy every day. His tail was always wagging. Lung Mets took him from us on May 15, 2013. Rainbow bridge became a happier place with his arrival. We miss him terribly everyday. We lost our kitty in September 2012. Diesel, who was 18 1/2 years old when he passed at home, was (and still is) the Godfather. He is missed terribly by all. They are curled up together sleeping at the bridge under the stars, happy to be sleeping buddies again.

8 thoughts on “Day by Day…..”

  1. You know what, you have every right to be angry. And you should be angry, because it’s not fair. I was there myself just three short years ago. But I will tell you this: don’t let the anger and sadness take away from your time with Franklin. It took me a bit to figure that out myself, but once I did it was very helpful to me. When Franklin is no longer with you, then you can be as angry as you want and cry 24/7 if that’s what helps you get through it. But for right now, just take things day by day. Franklin is here with you now, he loves you, and that is what matters. Stay strong for your boy. In the meantime, myself and everyone else on these forums is sending positive thoughts to Franklin!

  2. Maximutt has given sage advice there that I can’t even begin to add to, because she summed up my feelings perfectly.

    This point of the journey is SO hard and the worst part is that can make or break the entire time that Franklin has fought that blankety-blank cancer. If you are angry now, you will let it win, by taking you away from this moment, this very second that you are able to love him and smell his fur and touch his soft ears. Don’t let it do that. You will have lots of time someday, just not now. I know, I know it’s hard!

    Franklin is still in the moment, despite his challenges. As long as he has you, and he is comfortable and not in pain, he is living the life that he loves best. Be there, be present, and dont’ let anything take these sweet moments away from you.

    We send all our love to you and the pack.

  3. Enjoy all these precious moments. Take a gazillion pictures, too. As you fully know, there’s not enough time in the day to love up your pup. I feel your anger. We all do. It’s just not fair. It’s just not right. May he find comfort in your love and sweetly whisper to you when he’s done fighting. The sweetest gift of all….

  4. Christine, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am so so sorry you are going through this and I hate cancer too. Everyone is so right with what they are saying. My heart breaks for you & Franklin. Keep loving him every day give him those loves & hugs.

    Michelle & Sassy

  5. Nothing can be said to make it better. We are here to be your support and punching bag when needed. That picture says it all – Franklin is loved and loves you.

  6. I can see why that picture is one of your favorites…..two best buddies living in the moment and enjoying just being. Frank ‘n’ Farter is still enjoying being with you and is still finding quality in his day.

    You are maintaining your courage, your loving, joyful attitude for Frank and that’s an incredible feat of love. NOTHING can destroy your bond and OTHING can deprive you of being fully present in loving Frank.

    You know we all wish we could push the sadness away and be there personally to help you. We can only stay connected through this site created for this journey. A connection that will help sustain you and let you feel less alone.

    Franks still has more pig ears to eat and car rides to take with a wagging tail. What wonderful memories you are still making!

    Holding your hand, Sally and Happy Hanna

  7. Thank you everyone.. I know you all know what I am going through… and reading your words… gives me comfort and smiles on the screen… thank you.
    and trust me.. I do spend more time snuggling and smiling at Franklin than crying.. I know the real crying will come later…
    I’m basically using you guys to vent to.. I hope you don’t mind!! lol and that is why I am sharing happy moments and pictures as well.. .
    With the bad.. there is always so much more good to share with our puppers life moments!!!

    Bark atcha later!

  8. Christine,
    You captured such tender moments like thi one and the one of your son sleeping on the couch with Franklin and Maggie. Cherish these. They will bring you sadness, joy, and comfort in his absence. But ultimately these will remind you of the love you both shared.
    Maricela and spirit Bruno

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